What Have I Become?
by Mirmoz
Summary: EXTRAIT — There was red too on her skin. So much red. All over her. She touched her face with fingertips leaving even more of this messy color on her lips. She let her hand falls heavily, her fingers falling in something slimy, something she figured out.


_— _**WHAT HAVE I BECOME? **_—_  
><strong>''<strong> _we've all got a monster inside of us_ **''**

**Rated: T  
>Words:<strong> 1'327  
><strong>Playlist:<strong>_Total Eclipse of The Heart_ by **Sleeping at Last**

I made this for the prompt of _seastarved_ on tumblr, inspired by this image that you'll find at the following link: _ post/107329252753/chinxs-hiatus-prompt-challenge-prompt-1-so_. I've had a lot of fun to write it, I hope you enjoy read it just as much. :)

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><p>She didn't know how she had ended up there, she had no idea and somewhere inside her it terrified her. There was blood everywhere, there was <em>so much<em> blood. She couldn't remember what happened. It seemed that she had locked these pieces of memory away and she had thrown the key somewhere where she would never find it. All that she could really feel at this moment it was an emptiness. Something that was missing. It was as if she wasn't really there, that she looked through other eyes who didn't belong to her; through the eyes of _somebody else_, _something else_. There was no more really colors around her. They had all gone. Maybe that was what was missing? All that remained was a veil of red which was everywhere where she looked, like a hundreds of rose petals. _Red roses._ How could she not remember ? There was _so much_ blood.  
>Emma looked down, letting her eyes drop on the first thing she could see. She slowly turned her hands. There was red too on her skin. <em>So much red. All over her.<em> She touched her face with fingertips leaving even more of this messy color on her lips. She let her hand falls heavily, her fingers falling in something slimy, something she figured out.

She turned on herself and took a step in the darkness. Everything was upside-down, as if a storm had blown everything away. When she put her foot on the ground, she heard broken glass crunching under her shoe. There, she noticed that the glass wall of one of the offices was broken into thousands of splinters of glass, the tiny pieces stained of blood, like all the rest, and at one step of her there was a body.

She felt tears come to her eyes, without never felt them on her cheeks. There was this small part of her who felt like crying and screaming, and then there was this stranger who was watching what had happened without her heart doesn't shivers once; she would walk away without turning back. The one whose the heart started to hurt, to tear into two to satisfy each of them stepped back, trying to breathe and make go away the points of colors that danced in front of her eyes.

Emma almost stumbled and turned around. There was another body- some others in a cell. She looked at him through the eyes of this other thing, examining the oozing wounds on his body. A half-moon loomed over his shoulder; the thing had to scratch his skin until he was tearing apart. Inside her something broke– perhaps her heart, she wouldn't have known how to tell and she stayed without moving. Inside her, everything hurt, everything seemed broken. Emma looked up, meeting the eyes of her reflection in the mirror, they seemed so empty, two lagoon of coal, just _black_. There was nothing in her eyes. No light.

Emma felt her heart missing a time when she heard the broken glass crack – not under her shoes this time – and turned around. She felt like a kid who would have stolen a lollipop but what she had taken was much worse than some candies. It made her even more afraid when her eyes fell on him. All of sudden, the colors burst on her eyes blinding her just for a moment. It seemed to her that she had found her eyes again, the way she used to look through, to pass through him. He shouldn't be here.

— Emma.

She took a step backwards bumping once again the body who was behind her. She glanced at him, her eyes falling into his. We use to say that the eyes are the windows of the soul, but no matter where she was seeking, it seemed that all the lights that haunted them had disappeared. That life was gone. _Something_ had stolen _it_. _Just like the lollipop._ Emma felt a tear slipped on her cheeks and come wet her lips, and lifted up her head. Hook slid his eyes on her, let them trace the pattern on her skin still drawn in red. It wasn't supposed to tattoo her skin, she wasn't supposed to be scribbling of red but she was too tired for even imagine soften it.

Emma felt a shiver run down her spine while Killian continued to drag his eyes on her. She could feel each of his looks dissect her, but not only once, she dared put her eyes on him. What would happen if everything had gone, that the way he looked at her had changed? Emma would have liked to hear that he was going to fix her, that he would erase everything, but he said nothing. He had always known what to say… _Did she had gone too far?_ Her heart clenched between her ribs, her chest suddenly too small for hold it. Ruby was there too. Emma had not even realized that her eyes were desperately clinging to her. Only there was _more_ in her eyes, this is perhaps why she had forgotten that he was there. That he had forgotten the words.

— It's gonna be okay, _love_, he said almost whispering, his voice soft, made of velvet as if he didn't want broken her. Emma felt as if her bones are melting inside her body, her heart was no longer that of a marshmallow world but she couldn't take her eyes off Ruby. She was afraid of what she would see in his.

— I…, nothing seemed right to say. _I._

Then suddenly it hit her, while she was looking into the bambi eyes of Ruby. It was not a _something_, it was a _someone_: she had been the one who had stolen their lives. She had the sudden feeling that her skin was too small for her, that she didn't belong to her anymore. The feeling of loneliness which had followed her since the day where she was gone out of this wardrobe put not long before to find its way back. Emma wanted to run for one's life and run as fast, as far as she could, but go away would be useless this time, because no matter where she will go he will always find her, _right?_ That's what she was holding on to.

— I've killed them, it was just a whisper which stayed like hung above her as if it was always going to be there with her, _forever_. She tried to hold back her tears somehow. She was the one who had done this, it was _her fault_.

They let the silence play around them.

Emma let herself drown in his blue eyes; when their eyes met, his were filled with _so many_ things, but she only wanted finding _just one_. She tried to find this little thing that she was afraid of no longer feeling tickle her; this little thing that used to be hidden somewhere by-here and made her shiver, all these small sparkles who said that he would always love her. Emma could see them swim in the sea that was his eyes. It was still there and it made easier for her to breathe.  
>Hook took a step toward her and tried to grab her hand, but she stepped back suddenly wrapping her arms around her, building a wall between her and him: she won't hurt him.<p>

— Don't, she whispered.

Ruby walked towards her, closing the distance between them; unintentionally, she replied to the sos that made shaken her voice, seeming finally come to life in the gloomy scene that she had decorated and placed a hand infinitely gentle on her wrist. It was as if the wings of a butterfly brushed against her skin. Gently, she squeezed her hands. Emma let her come closer, her fingers anchoring to her by reflex. Ruby looked deep into her eyes, touching almost her soul.

— It won't happen again. I promise.

Emma believed her.


End file.
